College Dilemma

Here is my very confusing story: I am a current rising Junior at Boston University (BU). I am a pre-med who is involved in clubs, medical school research, and volunteering in a hospitals main and ER unit. I was a guaranteed transfer to BU, so my freshman year I spent it at a state school across the street from my house. My boyfriend (high school sweethearts) went to Colorado College (CC). In high school, I never really had a huge desire to go to a particular college. BU is the farthest from home, one of few I got into, and is an R1 research institution.

But for the past two years, I have always looked at CC as the school that I really yearned for. The school is tiny, about 500 students total, they take one class every 3 1/2 weeks, very nature focused college environment, and the students are all very outdoorsy and "granola", similar to myself. I found myself at BU sad that it was grey and rainy and cold every day for like 6/8 months I was there. So even though the academics and opportunities are amazing, I really did not like the environment, the kind of students there, little green, and the lack of having an actual campus. I thought why the hell not try and apply to cc just to see, so I did, and I got in as a fall junior transfer.

I am so so so conflicted. CC has the environment and life I really want to live. Small school campus, great close nit environment, close to your professors. I've visited my bf and met so many people and I have loved it so much. I feel so at peace when I visit. I even sometimes hang out by myself to enjoy the sun and the mountains. I am just scared that I'd be giving up everything I've built at BU in just one year for the happiness I felt at a different college, which, while still good, is not as good as BU. It has fewer opportunities as it is in Colorado Springs, and I'd be giving up the prestige, and living in fricking boston.

My parents have said absolutely not, even though the tuition at CC would be half of what is paid for BU. They were really disappointed in me for applying. They think its just to go be with my boyfriend, but I can promise with all of my being it truly isn't. I have been figuring myself out and changing so much as a person over these past two years, and that environment has been what I crave. They don't know me on a very personal level, just who I am academically.

My parents have the say in my life, so if I even did decide to go to CC, I'm not sure if they'd still talk to me or pay for it, my maternal grandfather is paying for my school and he loves bu, meaning I'd probably have to pull out student loans. All of my family is so proud that I go to BU, and so am I. I regret even applying to CC at this point. I know I can just finish at BU, but I will feel so sad to miss out on the college experience I really want. My parents aren't letting me take gap years either, so I cant just take a year to live in CO either post grad.

I'm just curious what people think. Should I take the big leap? Do I let go and deal with it? I want to be a doctor or be involved in medicine no matter what. I keep trying to make peace with not going, but I always find my mind drifting back to cc and it makes my stomach hurt. It feels horrible choosing between academics vs environment. I am so grateful to go to BU, but I just feel like I'm having a crisis in what I want to do with my life :(

submitted by /u/Outside-Ability-2338
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