OMG! Like, I???????????????????????????????m only going to be a freshman for a couple more days. It???????????????????????????????s sad really. See, when you???????????????????????????????re a freshman, everyone???????????????????????????????s like, ?????????????????????????????Yo, watch out for them sketchy grad kids,??????????????????????????? but??????????????????????????? what will happen next year? What if I want to be a sophomore who should be watching out for the sketchy grad students? What if I don???????????????????????????????t want to watch out for them? To tell you the truth, I don???????????????????????????????t want to watch out and also don???????????????????????????????t not want to watch out for them. But again, this whole freshman thing. No longer will I be falling prey to frat boys. Like, next year I???????????????????????????????ll be watching the little innocents getting their first sloppy, meaningless kisses, and I???????????????????????????????ll be like, ?????????????????????????????Well, that was never really me, but it could have been!??????????????????????????? It could have been. Is this a personal ad? Yes, indeed it is. A lonely freshman, reveling in her last raucous days of unforgiving drunkenness, pretending that she owns the world but being so very afraid. I???????????????????????????????m moving on in the world and wish to take someone with me. In my heart and in my mind. In my life. In my life??????????????????????????? Actually, my parents are only paying the forty thou each year so I can get a good mate. Basically. Can you love me?
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