Summer girlfriend/female roommate needed

Want to save 15% or more on housing this summer?

I'm staying on campus this summer and will start looking for housing fairly soon. It just occurred to me that couples save a lot of money because they can share a room and still live comfortably without running into the problem of having a weird roommate. Always a little short on cash, I thought that I could save myself a couple grand by finding a girlfriend to live with before the summer starts. We'll probably get a place around campus for about 1k/mo. I might even know another couple, in which case we could get a two-bedroom apartment and split it four ways. This is really a once-in-a-lifetime deal, so if you are a single female in the age range 18-48, you could be eligible for a temp boyfriend and savings on housing up to 50% this summer.

I have only one request, which is the relationship must stay platonic. My past summer relationships have left my heart as a pile of ashes and dust, and as a consequence, I've resolved to stay detached from my "aimee du soleil." And I'm firm about that, so before you even consider this deal you should make sure your heart is as cold and inignitable as dry ice. As for a description of myself (which you should not care about because the relationship is going to stay platonic), imagine the average stick figure. Add some dashingly frizzy black hair, thick eyebrows, a piercing gaze behind nerdy glasses, a slightly awkward smile, and the wisdom of 21 years. That's my face. As for the rest, I'm lean as a steak and cut as, well, a steak. Don't get too carried away thinking about it.

What am I looking for? In the past, I've had prospectives write a personal statement and send it in with their current transcript and a few letters of recommendation. This year is different. I'm taking a chance, just like Rapunzel did in Tangled, just like Jasmine did in Aladdin, and just like Belle did in Beauty and the Beast. These Disney characters took a chance and ended up on top. So could I, and so could you.